my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
