i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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