thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
