we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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