Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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