Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
