did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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