he puts the penis in happiness.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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