Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
