I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
love makes seman taste better
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
