i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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