Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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