I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
smell my finger.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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