he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
