I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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