Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
