My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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