Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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