I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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