She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Houston, we have a squirter
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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