this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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