We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
