i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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