if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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