I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
