Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
