D3 body, D1 cock
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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