Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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