shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
