Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
