just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
