I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
