I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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