NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
