I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
