i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
