Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
