I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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