Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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