i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
