Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My vagina is very pro this idea
His nipple licking is glorious
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