You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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