This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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