i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
