You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
