Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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