So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
