Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
