i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cut my penus on the lid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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