just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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