Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
