but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
