You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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