he puts the penis in happiness.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
