the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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