Your tits are I can't wait for
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
