That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
