So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize