A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
