She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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