I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
