Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
