i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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