I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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