Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize