so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
