God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
