Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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